AHAB THE ARAB
Let me tell you ’bout Ahab the Arab,
The sheik of the burning sand.
He had em’ralds and rubies just a dripping off of him.
And a ring on ev’ry finger of his hands.
He wore a big old turban wrapped around his head
And a scimitar by his side
(Spoken) And ev’ry evening about midnight,
He’d jump on his camel named Clyde and ride through the night to the Sultan’s tent where he would secretly meet up with Fatima of the seven veils, the swingingest number one dancer in the Sultan’s whole harem, ’cause like him and her had a thing going. You know, they’d been carrying on for some time now behind the Sultan’s back and you could hear him talk to his camel. As he rode across the dunes, his voice would cut through the still night desert air and he’d say, (imitate Arabian speech [i.e. make nonsense syllables]) which is Arabic for, “W[h]oa, babies.” And Clyde would say, (imitate camel voice). Well, he brought his camel to a screeching halt at the rear of Fatima’s tent, jumped off Clyde, snook around the corner and into the tent he went. There he saw Fatima lying on a zebra skin rug, wearing rings on her fingers and bells on her toes and a bone in her nose. Ho, ho.
There she was, friends and neighbors, lying there in all her radiant beauty, eating on a raisin and a grape and an apricot and a pomegranate and a bowl of chitterlings, two bananas, three Hershey bars, and sipping an R-ER-C coke cola, listening to her transitor, watching The Grand Ole Opry and reading Mad Magazine while she sang, “Does the chewing gum lose its flavor?” And Ahab walked up to her and he said, (imitate Arabian speech) which is Arabic for, “Let’s twist again like we did last summer, babies.” And she said, (coy, girlish laugh) “Crazy baby.” ‘Round and around and around and around, etc. And that’s the story ’bout
Ahab the Arab, The sheik of the burning sand.