[Well] there ain't no PLO down in Arab, Alabama,
And up in Paris, Tennessee, they don't eat escargot,
And Irish people don't shoot each other in good old Dublin, Georgia,
And there ain't no one named Gorbachev in Moscow, Idaho.
The streets of Berlin, Maryland, ain't got no Iron Curtain,
And folks from Cuba, Missouri, ain't out high-jacking planes,
And people that live in London, Kentucky, don't talk like Richard Burton,
And there's only one kind of coke that comes from Peru, Maine.
I wouldn't put up with an Ayotollah if there was a Tehran, Texas,
And mommas wouldn't name kids Mohammad in Tripoli, Arkansas,
San Salvador, Mississippi, might be a right peaceful town,
And if there was a Beirut, Louisiana,
Baby, I'd feel safe and sound.
Let's take Castro to Kentucky and put a coal shovel in his hand,
And marry him off to one of Loretta's sisters, we'd never see him again,
Put Arafat in a fur-lined hat and take all the sheetheads he knows,
And jumbo-jet 'em to Nome, Alaska, and make 'em be eskimos.
Well there ain't no PLO down in Arab, Alabama,
And up in Paris, Tennessee, they don't eat escargot,
And Irish people don't shoot each other in good old Dublin, Georgia,
And there ain't no one named Gorbachev in Moscow, Idaho.
I said a big truck takes the garbage off in Moscow, Idaho.