John Robbins; anonymous
Tune: "I You're Happy And You Know It Clap Your Hands"

The college version (v. 2) is more pointed in its jabs at George W. Bush and his policies.

If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are frisky, Pakistan is looking shifty,
North Korea is too risky,
Bomb Iraq.

If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
If we think that someone's dissed us, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections, Let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions,
Bomb Iraq.

It's pre-emptive non-aggression, bomb Iraq.
To prevent this mass destruction, bomb Iraq.
They've got weapons we can't see, And that's all the proof we need,
If they're not there, they must be there,
Bomb Iraq.

If you never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq.
If you think Saddam's gone mad, With the weapons that he had,
And he tried to kill your dad,
Bomb Iraq.

If corporate fraud is growin', bomb Iraq.
If your ties to it are showin', bomb Iraq.
If your politics are sleazy, And hiding that ain't easy,
And your manhood's getting queasy,
Bomb Iraq.

Fall in line and follow orders, bomb Iraq.
For our might knows not our borders, bomb Iraq.
Disagree? We'll call it treason, Let's make war not love this season,
Even if we have no reason,
Bomb Iraq.


College Student Version


If we cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq,

If the markets hurt your Mama, bomb Iraq,

If the terrorists are Saudi

And the bank takes back your Audi

And the TV shows are bawdy,

Bomb Iraq.

If the corporate scandal’s growin’, bomb Iraq,
And your ties to them are showin’, bomb Iraq,
If the smoking gun ain’t smokin’
We don’t care and we ain’t jokin’
That Saddam will soon be croakin’
Bomb Iraq.

Even if we have no allies, bomb Iraq,
From the sand dunes to the valleys, bomb Iraq,
So to Hell with the inspections
Let’s look tough for the elections
Close your mind and take directions,
Bomb Iraq.

So here’s one for dear ol’ daddy, bomb Iraq,
From his favorite little laddy, bomb Iraq,
Saying “no” would look like treason
It’s the Hussein hunting season
Even if we have no reason,
Bomb Iraq.