IF I WERE KING OF THE HOUSE OF DAVID
Type
Song
Composer
Will Collins, Vincent Ellis and Buddy Fields
Lyricist
Will Collins, Vincent Ellis and Buddy Fields
Copyright
1923
Publisher
Jack Mills, Inc., New York
Cover Artist
Barbelle
Notes
Written after the discovery of Tut's tomb, but with a perfect mishmash of "sheiks," King Cole and many "queens."
Note that the Kingdom of David is not a foreign country, but it is located somewhere in England or America.

"Three Weeks" (1907) by Elinor Glyn (=nee Sutherland, 1864-1943) is the story of a young English aristocrat seduced by a Balkan queen (thought to be a fictionalized account of an affair by the author). One scene in the book inspired the doggerel: "Would you like to sin/ With Elinor Glyn/ On a tiger skin?/ Or would you prefer/ To err/ With her/ On some other fur?" She was also the originator of the "It" girl, played by Clara Bow.

Lyrics

Kings of old were brave and bold but listen to me
And I'll tell you what I'd do If king I should be,
I wouldn't rule a kingdom that is lying o'er the sea
But there's a spot I'd give a lot If its ruler I could be.

CHORUS:
If I were king of the House of David
I'd have a wonderful time,
I would reign supreme over ev'ry queen
I'd banish all those bearded sheiks
Then I'd rewrite the book "Three Weeks"
I'd call in all of the older queens
And give them the air by the score,
I'd call for my jester to hand me the laugh,
And then I'd call for all the things a king has to have,
If I were king of the House of David
I'd have a wonderful time

I've been told that old King Cole was gay constantly,
With his pipe and with his bowl And his fiddlers three,
And old king Tut went off his nut for some Egyptian dame,
And if I ruled this kingdom I would no doubt do the same.

If I were king of the House of David
I'd have a wonderful time
I would hang my hat up in ev'ry flat
I'd make them sing "Long live the King"
I'd make them dance and everything,
I'd call in all of those bearded guys
And give them the air by the score,
A head lies uneasy while wearing a crown,
But that's just where I'd fool 'em, cause I'd never lay down,
If I were king of the House of David
I'd have a wonderful time