Oh! Mister Gallagher, Oh! Mister Gallagher,
Hello, what's on your mind this morning, Mister Shean?
Ev'rybody's making fun Of the way this country's run,
All the papers say we'll soon live European.
Why, Mister Shean, Why, Mister Shean,
On the day they took away our old canteen,
Cost of living went so high, that it's cheaper now to die,
Positively, Mister Gallagher, Absolutely, Mister Shean.
Oh! Mister Gallagher, Oh! Mister Gallagher,
If you're a friend of mine, you'll lend me a couple of bucks.
I'm so broke and badly bent, And I haven't got a cent.
I'm so clean you'd think I was washed with Lux.
Oh! Mister Shean, Oh! Mister Shean,
Do you mean to say you haven't got a bean?
On my word that I'm alive, I intended touching you for five,
Oh I thank you, Mister Gallagher; you are welcome, Mister Shean.
Oh! Mister Gallagher, Oh! Mister Gallagher,
What's the name of that game they play on the links?
With a stick they knock the ball Where you can't find it at all,
Then the caddie walks around and thinks and thinks.
Oh! Mister Shean, Oh! Mister Shean,
You don't even know a hazard from a green,
It's become a popular game, and you don't even know its name?
Sure, it's croquette, Mister Gallagher, No, lawn tennis, Mister Shean.
Oh! Mister Gallagher, Oh! Mister Gallagher,
Once I think I saw you save a lady's life.
In a rowboat out to sea, You were a hero then to me,
And I thought perhaps you've made this girl your wife.
Oh! Mister Shean, Oh! Mister Shean,
As she sunk I dove down like a submarine,
Dragged her up upon the shore, now she's mine forever more,
Who, the lady, Mister Gallagher? No, the rowboat, Mister Shean.
Extra Verse Composed by Chuck Kennedy, May, 2002
Oh! Mr. Gallagher, Oh! Mr. Gallagher.
Did you see the weather that we had last week?
All the seniors had to get
Their diplomas on a bet
That they won't be stranded somewhere up the creek.
Oh! Mr. Shean, Oh! Mr. Shean,
Your geography's not absolutely keen,
When the students leave this town
They head straight for old Cancun!
¿No es verdad, Senior Gallagher?
Si, si, si, si, Senior Shean.
Extra Verses Composed by Evan Fradenburgh, March, 2002
Oh! Mr. Gallagher, Oh! Mr. Gallagher.
Well hello there on this cold day, Mr. Shean.
If you do not like the snow,
then to Egypt you should go,
They would love to see your old soft-shoe routine.
Oh! Mr. Shean, Oh! Mr. Shean,
I can't belly-dance like girls in the hareem.
If you can't perfect the art, be content to look the part,
Wear your sun hat, Mr. Gallagher, [Gallagher hangs/holds hat in front]
I will do that, Mr. Shean.
Oh! Mr. Gallagher, Oh! Mr. Gallagher,
It's so very nice to see you, Mr. Shean.
Have you heard the latest news?
Our friend Chuck has lost his shoes
When he tried to dance your vaudeville routine.
Oh! Mr. Shean, Oh! Mr. Shean,
Did he kick too high and land upon his bean?
No, the message I must send, is it was the other end!
So be careful, Mr. Gallagher!
Positively, Mr. Shean!