To just see life, some time ago, we ran away from home.
And out of curiosity, we sailed across the foam.
Arriv'd in Persia, there we made acquaintance with the Shah,
He put us in the harem where the other ladies are;
But very soon we found we'd got ourselves into a scrape;
So we waited our opportunity, and then made our escape;
The doings of the harem quite upset our modesty,
We knew it was no place for us, so now, of course, you see
CHORUS:
Sweet English maidens just escaped from Persia;
O the rumpus, O the fuss! O the games they played with us,
Oh, girls, keep away from the Shah;
Here's nice bits of Turkish delight
Glad to come home to Ma!
Although the Shah in stature only measures three foot three,
We had to take it each in turn to sit upon his knee,
We told him funny stories to amuse the dear old chap,
We'd teach him how to back gee-geesi and play at ha'penny napii;
We'd Tatcho his cranium, his books we had to keep,
Sing "Love's Old Sweet Song" to him at night to soothe him off to sleep;
We'd make him up his toddy, and other incidentaries,
And like the other ladies tried his highness hard to please.
CHORUS: Sweet English maidens, &c.
The climax came when he proposed that we his wives should be,
We said, "No, really, thank you, sir, but you can't marry me!"
We knew that one wife for a man's sufficient at a time,
And bigamy, or thingamy, is looked on as a crime.
And so, while he was busy entertaining all his wives,
We went and packed our boxes and then scooted for our lives;
And now that we've arrived here we're quite a curiosity,
We hear folks say, "Why, who are they?" we then reply that we-- (are)--
CHORUS: Sweet English maidens, &c.