We'll Soon Be Dry Like You
Jean Schwartz
Alfred Bryan
Jerome H. Remick & Co.
Monte Cristo, Jr.
The lyrics mix pharaonic, Roman and Islamic Egypt with unhistorical gusto, with a biblical reference to Jericho and Rebecca for good measure, all to lament Prohibition.

King Rameses went to pieces seven thousand years ago
And pass'd a law that Egypt must go dry.
He took the liquors from the "Slickers" all the way to Jericho
But kept his little toddy on the sly
The desert of Sahara flow'd with honey, so they say,
Till prohibition came along and dried it up one day.

Sahara, we sympathize with you, Sahara, we'll soon be dry like you
I know why Cleopatra put that snake against her skin,
She lost her mind completely when she lost her Gordon Gin,
Omar Khayyam took a leap into his caravan,
Grabb'd his jug of wine and then he flew,*
And ever since all those Egyptians move their funny arms so queer,
They got that way from reaching for imaginary steins of beer
Sahara, Oh Sahara, we'll soon be dry like you.

All the fakirs turn'd milk shakers when they heard the awful news
No more Arabs sang Mohammed's praise
The camels halted and revolted when they took away the booze
And travell'd without water seven days
They brought the news to Cairo and the folks were all surpris'd
The shock was so intense they say they all got paralyz'd.

* The following two lines have these variations for the repeat choruses:

I know just why Rebecca took her little pitcher to the well
That old well just was camouflaging for a lager beer hotel.

They laid poor Cleo on a table underneath a chandelier,
Marc Antony got thirsty when he stood and gaz'd upon her bier.

Now I've found out the reason for the silence of the mighty Sphinx,
Her throat got dry, she couldn't talk when they came and took away her drinks.